I don’t like spiders. They lurk, they jump, and they simply have too many legs. And yet, there is a certain grace and elegance to them. Their webs, a distasteful surprise when strung across a hiking trail, shine like works of otherworldly art when they hold the morning dew. While I have long had a healthy respect for the role spiders play, in recent years I have also come to appreciate the aesthetics of spiders.
I have actually had to work at this. A few years ago, I lived in a house on the bank of a river, and discovered a whole new world of spiders, both inside and outside the house. I began taking pictures of the ones that built webs outside the windows, and bought books to learn more about the different species I encountered. My approach was to ease my discomfort through familiarity, on the assumption that the unknown is much scarier than the known. (To be honest, though, I still can’t leaf through those books for any length of time without starting to feel like something’s crawling on me, so I guess I’ve still got work to do.)
So I’m making progress on spiders, and I feel like that’s started to help me look squarely at other things that frighten and repulse me. I can’t say I’ve found any beauty in oil-slicked wetlands, religious fanaticism, or people who turn to cruelty as a way to quell their own fear. And I’m not saying I want to find beauty in them; frankly, I want to oppose them and prevent them any way I can. But the first step is to be able to face them without flinching – heck, even with flinching, if that’s what it takes – and see them for what they are. I’m not always able to do that, but I think it’s worth the effort.
And I’m making progress on spiders. That’s a start.
June 4, 2010 at 7:05 pm
Hahahah im scared of spiders… I cant stand them… I cant even stand looking at a picture of one… they’re soooc creeepy ugh!
June 6, 2010 at 11:50 pm
my spider story from yesterday:
yes, I am very much afraid of spiders (yes, even with a tattoo of one at the base of my spine), spine-tingling afraid if you’ll forgive the pun.
To set the stage, I have a few plants on my balcony and a couple of them have a bug issue.
Then yesterday, I’m at a friend’s and we discover that he’s just had a hatching of a little bundle of spider goodness. And what does my subconscious witch side say? Why, ‘can I take some home with me’, of course. But it says it out loud. Pesky self.
So yes, my friend got a little jar, and a little leaf, and I am the proud(?@?!) mommy of a half dozen baby spiders, relocated to my lavender and tomatoe plants.
Guess I’ll have to get used to their presence. It’s good for me.
Right?
June 7, 2010 at 4:29 pm
That’s funny, because one reason I was thinking about spiders the day I wrote this was that my mailbox had been taken over that morning to be a spider nursery. It was insane how many of the little critters there were, and they’d webbed over the mailbox door. Not very convenient, so I cleared the web as gently as I could, and put the mail out. By the time I got home that afternoon, they’d webbed it over *again* (I guess they hadn’t all emerged yet when I first found them) and I had to re-clear the opening so I could get my mail. So I guess it’s spider baby time!
But good for you!